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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/29568018">hold it together</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/bitterdwarfalmond/pseuds/bitterdwarfalmond'>bitterdwarfalmond</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Persona 5</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Canon Compliant, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, there's a little bit of violence/gore but it isn't that much</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2021-02-19</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2021-02-19</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-15 22:27:32</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Teen And Up Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>1,513</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/29568018</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/bitterdwarfalmond/pseuds/bitterdwarfalmond</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Goro turned around, so that he wouldn't have to look at Akira as he said: “We made an arrangement, remember? This isn’t a little get together, we had a deal. Once I get my end of it, this is all over.”</p>
<p>What Goro was originally going to do after that was walk out, and leave Akira as a sad lump on the ground while traversing back to his apartment. But everything was thrown out the window when he heard laughter. A rich, throaty chuckle that reverberated around the thin alley.</p>
<p>Looking over his shoulder he caught Akira’s eye as they worried their bottom lip and split it between their teeth, attempting to silence themself. A dark crimson wells up in Akira’s mouth and trickles down his chin. And Akira was still laughing - as if this was funny, or some obscure inside joke that Goro had no hope of understanding.</p>
<p>--</p>
<p>A 3rd semester, self indulgent little fic.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Akechi Goro/Kurusu Akira, Akechi Goro/Persona 5 Protagonist</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>80</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>hold it together</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span>Outside the train window, an assortment of bright candy colored lights flashed in Goro’s vision. They were unnatural, alarming, and if he was being entirely honest, a little terrifying too. It wasn’t the first time something unnatural had flickered into view, and it probably wouldn’t be the last either. At this point they were only small reminders that everything in this reality was entirely fabricated. And if it could get any worse - it was fabricated with the intention of pleasing someone else.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>It was late, he was tired and he could tell that Akira was too. The days were being stretched out, feeling as if they went on for far too long, and leaving him exhausted by the time he had a moment to breathe. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>At the moment he was stuck on a train. Its destination long forgotten due to the insistent pressure on his side. Next to him Akira had laid his head on Goro’s shoulder, most likely unknowingly, and had drifted off to sleep. Luckily he remains blissfully unaware of Goro’s panicking heartbeat. It was no secret that Akira needed rest, he had looked half-dead on his feet earlier today - Goro was trying his best not to move too much, he knew his shoulder couldn’t be that comfortable but then again Akira sleeps on </span>
  <em>
    <span>plastic crates</span>
  </em>
  <span> so maybe (in comparison) it was far more tolerable. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>The train jerks, and the comfortable weight leaves his shoulder. A shrieking sound emanates from the tracks below as it pulls into the station, and comes to a jarring halt. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>It isn’t their stop, at least he thinks it isn’t. He can’t quite remember where they were going in the first place, but Kichijoji definitely wasn't it. Even though Goro is certain they weren’t getting off yet, Akira hastily stands up, brushes non-existent dust from his thighs and heads for the doors.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“H-hey wait a minute, this isn’t-” but Goro doesn’t finish his thought. Akira is already picking up his pace and quickly getting out of ear-shot. </span>
  <em>
    <span>What in the world are they doing?</span>
  </em>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Despite knowing he shouldn’t. Despite knowing that it really wasn’t any of his business. And despite his better judgment - he follows.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Akira moves in between people like a lithe cat weaving its way through alleys. Making curt turns to avoid passerbys so often that Goro has almost ended up losing sight of him a couple of times. It’s a good thing Akira has an unruly mop that he claims as hair, otherwise Goro would probably be lost in a sea of people right now. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>The neon lights that rightfully belonged to the night-life scene of Kichijoji were insistently blinding him everytime he looked up to locate Akira’s bird nest of dark curls. Then Akira stopped walking, and Goro was completely caught off guard - not even registering how close he had gotten in just a few strides that the abrupt stop almost had him slamming into the others back like a buffoon. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>He looked up to see the jazz club's small sign welcoming them in, and felt his stomach drop into his feet. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“What are we doing here?” Goro tried to keep his voice light and unaffected, but the words came out much harsher than he intended. Which he supposed was </span>
  <em>
    <span>fine</span>
  </em>
  <span> - it kinda fit the whole </span>
  <em>
    <span>this is a major inconvenience to me </span>
  </em>
  <span>type of thing Goro had been pushing forth for the past month. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Akira looked over his shoulder and gave him a small smile, not answering Goro’s question in the slightest. Not even a clue as to why they ended up here of all places. Seriously he could be such a fool sometimes.</span>
  <em>
    <span> Such a sentimental piece of--</span>
  </em>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Seriously Kurusu, why are we here?” This time he fully intended to bite the words out.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“You’re the one who followed </span>
  <em>
    <span>me</span>
  </em>
  <span> aren’t you? I didn’t ask you to come with.”  And Akira has the audacity to shrug his shoulders, as if he wasn’t fully expecting Goro to follow him. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Goro could only stand there like an absolute idiot as he psychoanalyzes himself and the numerous (definitely not numerous) possibilities that could have </span>
  <em>
    <span>possibly </span>
  </em>
  <span>brought him here. </span>
  <em>
    <span>Why was he compelled to follow him? Why in the world did he follow Akira to Jazz Jin out of his own volition?? Wasn’t he actively avoiding these situations as much as possible?</span>
  </em>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Well, since you’re here do you want to go in?” Akira seemed almost unsure of himself as he asked, adorably playing with the fringe between his eyes.</span>
  <em>
    <span> As if he didn't already have Goro by a cold chain around his throat.</span>
  </em>
  <span> Or an iron grip around his conscience, occupying the space in Goro’s mind Goro could be using for </span>
  <em>
    <span>anything else.</span>
  </em>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Indulging him would be one of the worst ideas Goro had ever had. Even though a part of him burned to go inside. Just to see everything again. To just be </span>
  <em>
    <span>there</span>
  </em>
  <span>; sitting comfortably as the singer's voice washed over him. Neither of them would have to say a thing. They could just be in eachothers company and that was enough. But that was also the problem, </span>
  <em>
    <span>wasn’t it ?</span>
  </em>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Being comfortable could be mistaken for complacency</span>
  <em>
    <span>, and he couldn’t have that.</span>
  </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>But what could Goro do that would crush him more than betraying him. </span>
  </em>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Before thinking it all the way through, which was a perfect start to this plan but not-a-plan, he grabs Akira by his scarf, dragging him further into a nearby alleyway and slammed his back against the cool brick wall.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“H-hey wait, I was just asking if you wanted to-” </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Goro pulled him in close until they were almost nose to nose and snarled: “What makes you think that I want </span>
  <em>
    <span>anything </span>
  </em>
  <span>to do with you?” Then Goro shoved Akira as hard as he could against the pavement, which was surprisingly much easier than he thought it would be.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Unable to stop the tremor in his hands, Goro focused on his breathing instead. Slowly gulping down air until he could at least feel his fingertips. He needed to get his point across, and he needed to do it now. Before either of them got too comfortable and, for even the slightest of moments, hesitated. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Goro turned around, so that he wouldn't have to look at Akira as he said: “We made an arrangement, remember? This isn’t a little get together, we had a deal. Once I get my end of it, </span>
  <em>
    <span>this</span>
  </em>
  <span> is all over.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>What Goro was originally going to do after that was walk out, and leave Akira as a sad lump on the ground while traversing back to his apartment. But everything was thrown out the window when he heard laughter. A rich, throaty chuckle that reverberated around the thin alley.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Looking over his shoulder he caught Akira’s eye as they worried their bottom lip and split it between their teeth, attempting to silence themself. A dark crimson wells up in Akira’s mouth and trickles down his chin. And Akira was still </span>
  <em>
    <span>laughing - </span>
  </em>
  <span>as if this was funny, or some obscure inside joke that Goro had no hope of understanding. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Why are you laughing?” Goro snaps.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>That only seems to set Akira off again, this time they're more like hysterical little giggles that cause bits of blood to spray out their mouth.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Akira’s eyes snap up to his, and Akira quips back: “Because you’re a bad liar.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>A harsh red threatens to spill over into Goro’s vision, he clenches his hands and wills the feeling away as best he can. It’s a fruitless battle. Within a few moments he has Akira by the coat again, and thrusts him against the brick wall. They’re in a public place, Goro hasn’t forgotten that, it’s just that he doesn’t care if there are any witnesses to him breaking Akira’s head open in a side-alley.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>But he doesn’t want to </span>
  </em>
  <span>hurt him, </span>
  <em>
    <span>he’s just… He’s just - </span>
  </em>
  <span>frustrated. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>It’s with that thought that Goro releases his death-grip on Akira, and sits back in an attempt to put some distance between them. He didn’t know what to do with his hands, he was thinking about either scraping them against the ground until he couldn’t feel them or biting his knuckles so they bled. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>He doesn’t want to hurt him, he just doesn’t trust himself.</span>
  </em>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I know, but I trust you,” Akira says so softly that Goro almost doesn’t hear him</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>And Goro doesn’t get a chance to process the mortification </span>
  <em>
    <span>of saying all that out loud </span>
  </em>
  <span>because then two warm arms wrap around his middle and pull him into a soft embrace. It’s admittedly a little awkward since they’re both huddled on the ground, but it’s still nice. </span>
  <em>
    <span>He’s not going to admit that though. </span>
  </em>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Akira lets out another little laugh that rumbles deep in his chest. As a response Goro buries his face into Akira’s shoulder hoping, </span>
  <em>
    <span>praying</span>
  </em>
  <span>, that he doesn’t say anything else involuntary.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“You’re a fool,” Goro reminds him.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“So you’ve said.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>It was Goro’s turn to laugh this time. Tentatively he curls up a little closer to Akira. </span>
  <span>Allowing himself, just this once, a bit of indulgence. </span>
</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Every time I sit down with the intention of writing fluff it ends up with Akira a little unhinged, and Goro having a breakdown. I am very sorry, one day they will be happy, but that day isn't today.</p></blockquote></div></div>
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